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© 2019 Alexandra Blue, All Rights Reserved

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  • Alexandra Blue

Highly Sensitive Person

Do people call you "too sensitive"? Maybe you're not overreacting at all. Get to know my side of the story and through my story and experience, maybe you could find out that you're not alone in the way you are.

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I've always been a very sensitive person ever since I was a child and while growing up, one of the things I hated hearing the most was "you're so sensitive". I can't change how I am so it would always annoy me whenever I would hear that. In my teens I started realizing that maybe I was feeling emotions too deeply and I thought maybe something was seriously wrong with me, that perhaps I was depressed or something. I would feel all the emotions like any regular person would but intensified by 10x and my reactions to things would be more intense as well. Because of this, I'm more aware to a lot more things, one in which I struggle with the most which is my surroundings. I feel more at peace when I'm at home however in a public setting especially when it's crowded, I get overwhelmed. I know you might be thinking that maybe I have social anxiety but I'll stop you right there....I don't, that's the thing. I can be social when I want to and I have no problem striking up a conversation with a stranger or anyone actually. In a crowded place, I get overwhelmed because I pick up on other people's energies and emotions.

      If I feel overwhelmed by picking up someone else's energy, just one person itself, imagine 30-40 more people? I end up soaking everything up like a sponge and it overwhelms me to the point where I feel like I'm going to either pass out or throw up. I end up arriving home drained and needing to recharge in order to find my balance again. If I can't retrieve to my place where I feel at peace the most, I would be putting myself at risk of having a mental breakdown. To others who don't know how I am, they would most likely think I'm such a bore which is why I've always been a loner. Sure I know plenty of people and I have friends but I prefer being a loner. I don't like going to clubs, parties, go out drinking and being wild like any other 20 something year old would do which is fine but how I am, it's not ideal for me. I just simply can't even if I wanted to. And to even be explaining how I am to every person I meet would simply be exhausting and such a hassle so I avoid it all together. So what exactly was happening to me? 

     Later I found out I am what would be classified as a "Highly Sensitive Person" also known as Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). Only about 15 to 20 percent of the population are highly sensitive so imagine 15-20 percent out of 7.7 billion people that there is in the world? That's little. Every sense is heightened than usual. I think too deeply and I overthink negative thoughts which is not a very good combination so I end up stressing my own self out at times. I'm more sensitive to noise as well, to a normal person, noise would be disturbing and just straight annoying. To a person who is highly sensitive, loud noises throws you off completely so I can't be around loud noises too long. My ideal place would be complete silent or at least close to little sound. I thrive in that type of environment the most so at home it is completely silent unless I hear an occasional car pass by or the bells on my cat's collars ring. I get exhausted easily even though I'm perfectly healthy and young. I care very much about animals and people in general I care. When I care about someone, I genuinely care. 

      I don't lie and say I do just to say it. I sincerely care. My emotions are all genuine because I feel them more intensely. There is so many cons and pros about being this way but I can't seem to decide whether it's a blessing or a curse. Dealing with a heartbreak is brutal. You feel it more intensely for a longer period of time however when you're happy, you feel it much longer. So if I ever meet you in person or on the phone, please don't mistake my quietness for shyness. Eventually I'll get comfortable and can show you my fun and silly self so please be kind to me. I can talk about all the pros and cons about this all day but don't want to bore anyone so I just showed a glimpse of myself so people can better understand me.

- If you would like to know more about Highly Sensitive People and you think you might be one, check out these links I found below.

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