Updated: Jan 12
I adopted Bulma from a sad situation. Back in my hometown I liked to drive and be very independent however when I moved to Los Angeles, that all changed. I was afraid to drive because the traffic is just one of the worst in the country whereas in my hometown, there was hardly any. I would always have my roommate drive me to places whenever she was available because I was scared especially when dealing with anxiety. I would have panic attacks in the middle of driving so I avoid it completely to the point of selling my car. I would rarely drive unless I truly needed to for example when my roommate had appendicitis, I drove with no fear that day because she needed me. I decided to gradually start driving again so I can get over my anxiety when it came to driving. I had a class to go to in the afternoon one day and I told my roommate that I was going to start driving by myself to school from now on. I started going to my classes alone and slowly but surely I was driving again with little to no anxiety. I started gaining confidence again however that all went down the drain later on. It was time for me to leave home again to go to my class. It was the same basic routine. I headed towards the car and scared off the stray neighborhood cats that my roommate and I would feed on a daily basis. Before leaving I would always make sure to scare the cats from under and or close to the car because I didn't want them to be anywhere near it when leaving. One of my biggest fears in life would be running over an innocent animal so I was always cautious. As usual, I scared them off and checked underneath the car...there was no cat. I got in, turned on the car and while it was heating up, I was looking through what to play from my Spotify. After a minute or two, I drove in reverse and pulled out however while pulling out, I heard a loud pop. Sometimes the neighbor's kids would leave their toys in the driveway so I though I had ran over one of their toys so I didn't think much of it. Once I fully pulled out of the driveway and was going to drive away, what I saw next I will never forget. I saw blood all over the driveway and one of the neighborhoods cat having convulsions. I immediately parked right in front of the house and started shaking like crazy. My mind went completely blank and I started crying like I never have before. The horror of it was too much for me to process. I felt like I was the most horrible person in the world. I could never hurt an animal and the fact that I did even though it was accidentally, I felt absolutely horrible. The most horrible I've ever felt in my entire life. I couldn't bare to see the cat I had ran over so I called my roommate and told her what happened. I asked if she can come quickly to check the cat to see how she was to be able to take her to the vet for medical attention. We hung up and she immediately went out to go see the cat. I remained in the car and continued crying. My roommate came up to the car window and told me who it was. It was Ariel. She then told me that she didn't make it. I had thought that the worst thing I could have ran over was her leg but it made me sick to my stomach when I found out that I had actually ran over head and the reason why her body was still moving was because even though she was already dead, her nerves were in the process of catching up and dying.
Before I went back inside the house, my roommate and her sister took care of the body and cleaning up the blood. Once everything was done, they told me to go inside and rest. I was inconsolable for a whole week and I ended up missing a whole week of school to the point where my professors almost dropped me. I kept crying and crying. The images of the last moments I saw her would pop up in my head and I would get a panic attack. I just felt so hurt. I felt so guilty even though everyone kept telling me it wasn't my fault and that it was an accident. Even my pet's regular veterinarian whom I called told me that she knows me and she knows my heart and that she knows that I would never hurt an animal intentionally. She told me to not be so hard on myself and to be kind to myself. That it was an accident. I decided to take the advice and let the guiltiness go. I wrote a letter to Ariel and wrapped the letter among a bouquet of flowers. I took a few pictures I've had of her, took he flowers and burned a candle at night. I got on my knees and begged for her forgiveness. I didn't mean no harm. She left behind a few months old kittens so it made things even worse.
Luckily most of the kittens found home except two of them. Those two eventually ended up being taken in by my roommate's sister and boyfriend. One of the two kittens was a female and the other one was a male. The male one later escaped and ran away. My roommate's sister was going to give birth pretty soon so she was looking to find a new home for the female one whom she named "Mica". The boyfriend was getting pretty tired of Mica and was going to dump her in a park or just anywhere random which is pretty messed up and she didn't want that to happen so she asked me if I could take her in. Even though I already had 3 cats at the time and I wasn't sure if 4 cats would be ideal for myself, I took Mica in and she has been with me ever since however I changed her name from Mica to Bulma. I felt like it's the very least I could do for Ariel since she passed away because of me but I feel like she has since forgiven me...at least I'd like to think so since there is still a piece of her alive through her daughter Bulma and she is being well taken care of by me. I'm pretty sure Ariel would have appreciated that. Speaking of Bulma, she is currently purring away on my legs and has her head resting on my arm as I'm typing this. Even though it wasn't the ideal situation of adopting, nonetheless, I'm happy I have her in my life and I love her very dearly.